My bucket list

By way of light entertainment, here's my bucket list. My list of things I'd just love to have a crack at over the next 120 years of living. My good friend and Genesis Park colleague Ronnie Rucker shares his bucket list too, and his thoughts about bucket listing, over here.

Driving up Pikes Peak in a Jeep Wrangler

Driving up Pikes Peak in a Jeep Wrangler

Record a single.

Start another business. Or four.

Learn to code.

Impact inequality.

Fix democracy.

Customise a Land Rover Defender and take it on a world tour.

Visit Cuba.

Be famous.

Fix the distribution of income.

Make a movie.

Get a 007 wardrobe.

Grow leaders.

Star in a movie.

Learn to cook.

Teach.

Invent something.

Visit Canada.

Lecture.

Mentor.

Hike to Machu Picchu.

Make a container bach.

Live in rural New Zealand.

Kite surf.

Visit Japan.

Visit Russia.

Sail.

Write a travel guide.

Travel deep into China.

Build a house.

Mountaineer.

Visit Morocco.

Design another workspace.

Dive.

Hike Patagonia.

Learn to animate.

Make a board game.

Exhibit my photos and sketches.

Make a computer game.

Learn to paint.

Drive across the USA.

Make some GSD software.

Be a monk.

Walk from Cape Reinga to Bluff.

Disrupt government.

Learn a language.

Hike Great Barrier Island.

See the auroras.

Hike the Camino.

Visit Little Barrier Island.

Visit Antartica.

Volunteer as a Conservation Ranger.

Live on an island.

Surf.

Kayak around Stewart Island.

Visit Nepal.

Complete all of the Great Walks.

Hike the Dusky Track.

Learn to hip hop dance.

Visit Tibet.

Write another book.

Grow my hair long.

Visit India.

Visit Scotland.

Visit Iceland.

Visit Tasmania.

Illustrate a kids book.

Learn another instrument. But well this time.

Visit Spain.

Cross Australia by train.

Give a TED talk.

Spend a month in the bush.

Run a community garden.

Have kids.

Visit New Orleans.

Start an orchard.

Score a century in a 20/20 match.

Open a cafe.

Travel into outer space.

Write a photo/travel book.

Get a rocking chair.

Make some furniture.

Become a venture capitalist.

Reinvent capitalism.

Learn Māori.

Take a year off.

Build a monastery.

Play the harmonica.

Live in a commune.

Break a bone.

Learn to ski.

Become a pastor.

Mountain run.

Practice yoga.

Go camping.

Visit the Amazon.

Live in Europe.

Become a macroeconomist.

Become a professional explorer.

Visit Egypt.

Visit Easter Island.

Live beyond 100.

Celebrate our 75th anniversary together.

Do stand-up.

Get a tattoo.

Make maps.

Make street art.

Design a house.

Wellbeing and resilience

It’s been some time since my last update on May 2. Time that I’ve had the great fortune to be able to invest in a new role at work, a lovely new house, a whole heap of travel, a sprinkling of adventure, a season of Game of Thrones, some big exciting projects, and in practising being present in the moment, being in flow.

I’ve learned a lot about myself in those 1,440 hours. I’ve learned about my diet, exercise, consumption management, sleep, curiosity, confidence, and mindset (mostly because I've been obsessively tracking each of those things — see below!). I’ve learned that my wellbeing and resilience are significantly affected by eating primal, avoiding sugar, strength training, long intense walks, slow meandering wanders, being outside, balancing coffee and alcohol consumption, getting at least seven hours sleep a night, listening to random podcasts about space stations or the economics of Brexit or cyborgs, and noticing and positively reframing negative thought patterns.

Overtime hours every 15 days

I’ve learned how crucial investing in wellbeing and resilience are for me in times of significant change and high pace — and the importance of being intentional about those investments. Or instinctual. Oh heck, let’s go with both. Looking at the last few months, as I’ve ramped up the change and pace in my life (see the long term trend in overtime above — not a trend I'm proud of or endorse), I've also ramped up my coffee and alcohol consumption (see below — note the 'rectification' in late June — sometimes you need an 'event' to remind yourself to look after yourself). Not a healthy combination I'm happy with.

Monthly coffee and alcohol consumed

On the healthy side, as I've ramped up activity, I've also ramped up my wellbeing and resilience practices. See how often I’m applying my slow checklist, exercising, pausing (anything from breathing exercises to meditation to drawing), and walking, all below.

Pauses, exercises, and slow checklist uses per month

Steps per month

I'm convinced that what I eat and drink, how active I am, how much sleep I get, what I invest time in, and how I frame my thinking — is directly correlated with my ability to handle change, respond to tricky circumstances, and just feel good about life. 

Life is about moments, stories, and choices

My life is made up of moments, stories, and choices. And some other very important stuff too like love, belief, purpose, breath, etc. But this tale is about how moments, stories, and choices affect the amount of joy I get out of life.

Now, what follows is a tale. I’ve written what I’m thinking about, what I’m experimenting with, and how it has affected me. Forgive me, I’ve tried to pack a lot into a short space. Please take freely and liberally apply to your own existence — but bear in mind that this is not a peer-reviewed scientific journal, a post-doctoral thesis, or a how-to self-help guide.


Moments

Where we are, right now, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. These are moments we’re experiencing. I hope you’re enjoying yours!

Your moment may be right here in the present, consciously reading this blog post. Or, you might be partly present, reading and processing these words. You may be entirely distant; auto-piloting while you ponder about today’s plans, replay yesterday’s beach holiday, worry about tomorrow, or are distracted by something more fancy than this essay. 

Wherever our presence is — be that within, focused on our context, or far distant — that, right there, is a moment. Life is a collection of these moments.

Me enjoying one of those moments on the Great Wall.

Me enjoying one of those moments on the Great Wall.

Stories

Sometimes I catch myself weaving something about these moments into a story, telling myself things I feel are true about that moment. I’m incessantly replaying these stories, sometimes many at once. Stories are how I make sense out of moments.

Right now you might be developing a story that you’re curious, always open to different ideas; that’s why you’re able to focus on this metaphysical abstract. Or, if your mind wanders, you might be chastening yourself: “I’m no good at focusing.” Or you might interpret a meandering mind to be a relaxed mind.

Stories can be positive or negative. Open or closed. Playful or punitive. The tone of the stories I tell myself, as well as their content, affects me. Defines my state of mind. Changes how I perceive. Drives my actions. And impacts my enjoyment. Negative, closed, and punitive stories almost always deflate my enjoyment. Positive, open, and playful stories almost always make me happier.

The stories I consciously or subconsciously tell myself play a large role in determining how much I enjoy each moment.


Choices

I might have chosen the story I’m telling myself at this very moment. Or perhaps the story I’m repeating is an old one, formed at an early age, told just beneath my conscious mind, that I’ve never really noticed before. It just is.

I might have chosen to shift my presence into the past or future. Or I might find myself naturally worrying about something I said yesterday, or predicting something about tomorrow.

It turns our I can choose the stories I’m telling myself. And I can choose to shift my presence. If I don’t fancy the story I’m repeating, I can change it. If I’m caught up in the past or the future, I can shift to the present.

Pick your own path, like this gentleman choosing where to in a Beijing Hutong.

Pick your own path, like this gentleman choosing where to in a Beijing Hutong.

The more often I make a choice, the stronger the neural pathways for that choice become in my brain. That’s how habits form. The more I choose something (for example, a story, or to be present or distant), the stronger the neural pathway and corresponding behaviour, belief — and enjoyment.

To get more joy out of those moments, I’m becoming more aware of where my presence is, and of the stories I’m telling myself. I’m choosing to change my presence and reframe stories to get more joy.

Slow down a little, connect more

I’m choosing to slow down a little. Become more aware of myself and others. Take time to really connect.

Slow down a little. Like this person. Yes, I get the irony of snapping this from the high-speed Shanghai-Beijing bullet train…


Slow down a little. Like this person. Yes, I get the irony of snapping this from the high-speed Shanghai-Beijing bullet train…

I speed up because I’m afraid of missing out. Of not having enough time to get done everything I want to get done. Of not being the best I can be. I drive, cram, squeeze in more, and do so quicker. Which sometimes means I forget to bring people along for the ride. Or gloss over an important detail. Or miss the chance to have greater impact.

Driving, cramming, squeezing, forgetting, glossing over, and missing chances are all about choices made in moments that matter. To help to slow down a little and make better choices, I’m experimenting with two checklists. 

My slow down checklist adds more structure to how I interact with people, myself included. It starts with being still, watching and listening, becoming aware of the story that’s being told, thinking, feeling, and empathising — before contributing. Contributions could involve asking, reframing, or doing. All of which bears a striking resemblance to the data, judgement, feelings, wants, and actions ‘clearing process’ we learned about last week. 

A quiet afternoon at a Jiuxianqiao Lu intersection, Beijing.


A quiet afternoon at a Jiuxianqiao Lu intersection, Beijing.

And my choices checklist is really just Dr. Sven Hansen’s performance supply chain audit: is this good for my body? Mind? Emotions? Soul?

Let’s see how those experiments play out over the next few weeks.

Choices

Who am I now?

Who do I want to be?

How do I get there?

Over the last week we’ve meditated, played cards, explored our strengths, reflected together and alone, contracted with our accountability fours and our strategic project eights, chased geese, chased the sun in intercontinental teams, shared our Pou Whenua, tai-chied, somnabulantly noticed, coloured in, confronted our 360° feedback, empathised with users of the Cleveland Clinic, entwined ourselves in webs of wool, found our way out of an ancient zodiac vault, S.C.A.M.P.E.R.ed (what can we substitute, combine, adapt, modify, put to another use, eliminate, reverse, or rearrange?), launched our strategic projects, dined at an up-market speakeasy, interviewed local partners about our firm’s vision and their leadership journey, formed a company and ideated, built, marketed, and pitched a product; eaten, drunk, looked deeply into each others’ eyes, and made much merry together — all in service of exploring those three questions.

Wendy and Lucy help Judy and Phil.


Wendy and Lucy help Judy and Phil.

We’ve learned a lot.

We’ve learned about mindfulness and neuroscience, about our amygdalae and hypothalami and prefrontal cortexes and sympathetic nervous system stress responses, about rewiring our brains through conscious thought, about conscious leadership.

We’ve learned that conscious leaders are aware, observant, listeners, open, responsive, intentional, impactful, pace-modulating, and agile. We’ve debated what authenticity means in a world where leaders must be agile, willing to pivot and change. 

We’ve learned about coaching, values, strengths, about working from the outside in and the inside out, about the Zenger & Polkman correlation between business performance and 360° feedback, about Kolb’s learning model, about the stages of adult transformation from a reactive to a creative to an integral self, and about Dr. Hansen’s world of resilience.

We’ve learned that resilience is about how much bounce, courage, creativity, and connection you have. Resilience needs self awareness, mastering good choices, and empathy for others. Resilience leads to understanding, connecting, and influencing. Resilience allows leaders to give direction, support, and autonomy. Audit your performance supply chain. Observe what’s happening in your body, heart, mind, and actions — and make choices.

We’ve learned about leadership operating systems, about creation and reaction, about impact — you have it (you can’t not — you are continuously impacting yourself and the people and organisations you interact with), about the vicious problem-react spiral and the benevolent purpose-passion-outcomes loop, and about how fearful, hopeful, and absolutely fabulous our group here is.

We’ve learned that our consciousness narrows when we speed up, and broadens when we slow down — and that context and culture drive us to work faster — and that people move at different speeds, and that’s okay — and that what pace we model, our teams will mimic. Slow down to speed up. Fast is slow and slow is smooth. “Be where your hands are”, Wendy says. “Be slow to move”, our tai-chi instructor repeats. 

Phil, Ousmane, Judy, Andreas, Rico, Kim, and Amy swap notes.


Phil, Ousmane, Judy, Andreas, Rico, Kim, and Amy swap notes.

We’ve learned about the seven types of story — overcoming the monster, rags to riches, the quest, voyage and return, comedy, tragedy, and rebirth. We’ve learned about the stories we tell ourselves and others, the stories that define us. Stories about purpose. Stories about dreams. Stories about the past. Stories about our parents. Stories that reveal our hopes and fears. Stories about who we are.

At the end of the day, leadership is all about choices. Deliberate choices, made explicit with those with a stake in the choice — although deliberate and explicit are both choices too. We can choose to face reality, or we can ramp up delusions. We can choose to be open, or to shut down. We can choose to tell “should” or ask “could”.

We can choose to change how we think.

So, what choices am I making about who I am, who I want to be, and how I’ll get there?

Welcome to Shanghai

24 million people live here, but it took me several hours to find any of them. The city was empty — at least the parts I was in, at the time I was in them. Those who were around seemed fascinated by me (perhaps my walk shorts? Or my Haddock-style beard?). Oh, here they all are. They’re on the Metro and at the Bund and the Oriental Pearl Tower Inner Loop and Yu Garden and Nanjing Road. 

Man on bicycle.


Man on bicycle.

Few people spoke any english — although many seemed to know “watch” and “handbag” and “shoes”. Many laughed at my pronunciation — “nihao” (hello) and “xie xie ni” (thank you) — I laughed back too.

The city itself is expansive and spacious, but with patches of frenzy. It is old in places — like the Bund, and very new in others — like the towering convoluted skyscrapers of the Shanghai Special Economic Zone. It is reverent of tradition and lathered with preposterous folly. It is full of concrete and surrounded with pocket parks. It’s as clean as pretty much any other city I’ve visited — except for the barge-laden Huangpu, which despite the fishermen’s illusion to the contrary, is most definitely not swimming material. It is surrounded and permeated by great big thick arterial roads, most of which appear empty, bar the occasional Tesla or Lamborghini or overloaded motorised antique bicycle with three riders. It is irresistible at night.

Shanghai Special Economic Zone from the Bund.


Shanghai Special Economic Zone from the Bund.

Day 1 was temperate and foggy — but not smoggy. It rained for much of day 2, with low visibility. Day 3 cleared up a treat — with blue sky just visible through high smog. Perfect for a day indoors with my new friends.

My new friends and I met as a team on Sunday night — all 55 of us. Blindfolded. In the restaurant downstairs at the Intercontinental. We talked and laughed and eat, and then snuck away for early nights to overcome our 10, 12, even 20 hour journeys here. On Monday we met our accountability fours. We played spaghetti-marshmallow and the cane game in our strategic project nines. We shared our hopes and fears with each other — hope by hope and fear by fear. We worked with Myers, and Briggs, and Jung. We opened gifts from last years’ class. We listened to National Geographic photographer Dawitt Jones’ view on creativity — the relentless optimism and positive energy that allow him to make choices in the moment that turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. To find that next right answer. To change the lens in that moment. To be ready. To build and breaks patterns. He fears no failure. He has fallen in love with his work — all parts of it. Creativity is not magic, but preparation, positivity, process, and persistence.

I’ve started this journey with a bit of trepidation — as we all have. Can I slow down enough? What will I learn about myself if I do? Will we understand each other? Can I change? Am I enough?

Well. Let’s find out, shall we?

The view from my room. Swanky.


The view from my room. Swanky.

What does leadership mean to you?

Great question. Turns out people are pretty open to answering it too.

For my Uber driver in Auckland, leadership meant being firm and open, asking and listening, seeking feedback and being decisive. It meant delivering results for your team or business or country, while being conscious of how those results get delivered. He talked about effective leaders and good leaders — and that the two are not necessarily the same thing. He talked about Steve Jobs, Kim Jong-il, and Russian dictators — and then he talked about leadership being questions of perspective and context.

Over lunch with a colleague, we talked about self leadership first. We talked about separating who you are from what you do, or have done, or are passionate about.

Imogen and I talked about Elizabeth Gilbert's idea of following your curiosity instead of your passion — given many people don't have a clear passion to follow.

For guru executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, being interviewed on a podcast about his book 'What Got You Here Won't Get You There'; leadership is about listening to what people say without defence — thank people! Ideas are gifts! It's about whittling out the destructive and substituting in the positive. It's about identifying unhelpful habits and changing them. It's about quitting quickly, identifying what you need to give up, fast failing, and then letting go. Really successful people learn how to do less, not more. Don't get obsessed with goal completion, the journey is just as important. A colleague of Marshall once interviewed elderly folks — what advice would they give their younger selves. A few themes emerged: appreciate what you have, rather than driving to accumulate more. Be happy now — don't hang your happiness on some future condition. Spend more time with your friends and family. If you have a dream, go for it. Have fun — life is short. Do whatever you can to help people. And take risks — those being interviewed almost never regretted risking and failing, but many regretted not taking those risks. 

For the renowned leadership teacher I just happened to bump into in the airport lounge, it's about the whole you first. She had to run — her plane to London — and a three-day co-lab with the Teal Leadership movement — were departing. But we started a conversation we'll pick up again soon.

And for me. Leadership is about those small moments where what you say and do really matter. That might be choosing to go home and cook dinner after a long day at the office instead of snaffling a cheeky burger and a coke. That might be choosing to stop and take the time to answer someone's question — and commend them for asking — when you really want to brush them off and rush to fix the three urgent things you were already juggling. That might be admitting you were wrong and humbly searching together for the next best option, instead of evasion or downright deceit. Leadership is about the seemingly innocuous but actually really important day-to-day choices that we make, and the impact they have on ourselves and on those around us.

Leadership is about people. This photo — of people — was taken along the Binjiang promenade.


Leadership is about people. This photo — of people — was taken along the Binjiang promenade.

A spot of personal adventure

In six sleeps I board a plane for Shanghai. I'll spend a week with 55 PwC colleagues from around the world — Brazil, Canada, The Netherlands, India, South Korea, Italy, Switzerland, Mexico, Colombia, the US, Australian, Germany, and the UK. We'll share stories, struggles, cultures, hopes, tears, meals, a big hairy audacious project, and a barrel of laughs if I get my way. We'll learn about each other, about PwC, about where our world is heading and how we contribute to that direction; and probably most importantly — we'll learn about ourselves. We'll come away with new enthusiasm, relationships, questions, an answer or two, tools, tactics, strategies, frameworks, ideas — and hopefully greater impact.

In preparing for Shanghai our team have challenged us with a long list of thought pieces and questions. I've collated those questions below for anyone reading this blog and interested in a spot of personal adventure. Answer them all. Answer just those you fancy. Ask more questions. Whatever tickles your fancy. I've found many of them really interesting. I hope you do to.

 We'll share something of our culture with our international colleagues. I'll use pictures to talk about the people, places, and practices that make up my culture.

 

We'll share something of our culture with our international colleagues. I'll use pictures to talk about the people, places, and practices that make up my culture.

About me

  • Who am I?
  • What are my key strengths?
  • What are my strongest values?
  • What do I stand for?
  • What do I want to achieve?
  • What has been my biggest contribution in life?
  • What is the biggest challenge I've faced?
  • What moment am I most proud of?
  • What am I most grateful for?

About leadership

  • How do I lead?
  • What gets in the way?
  • Who do I want to be as a leader?
  • How do I get there?
  • Who has had the greatest impact on me?
  • Who have I had the greatest impact on?
  • Who am I responsible to? (Think family, friends, community, colleagues, clients, brand, society, environment…)
  • What am I responsible for? (Think actions, decisions, impacts, conversations, behaviours, sustainability, benefit…)

About resilience

  • How can I become more resilient?
  • How can I manage my stress better?
  • How can I look after my diet better?
  • How can I energise my body better?
  • How can I look after my family better?
  • How can I engage my own emotions better?
  • How can I better engage others' emotions?
  • How can I bounce back faster after setbacks?
  • How can I deal with ambiguity better?
  • How can I become more adaptable and agile through change?
  • How can I better access my creativity?
  • How can I stay curious?
  • How can I develop more of a performance mindset?

About mindset

  • How can I remain present and focused in all situations?
  • What mindsets serve me well?
  • Which ones don't?
  • When are mindsets more or less important to me?
  • How can I become more conscious of my mindset?
  • How can I reframe unhelpful mindsets in the moment?
  • What triggers helpful mindsets?
  • What about unhelpful ones?
  • What can I do to become more aware of those triggers?
  • What are the opportunities of holding helpful mindsets?
  • What are the risks of holding unhelpful mindsets?

About behaviours

  • What can I do to put myself in others' shoes?
  • How can I invest in relationships?
  • What can I do to share more?
  • What can I do to collaborate more?
  • How can I focus more on creating value for people?
  • How can I ask, listen, and seek feedback more often?